June 12, 2008

ticking

I'm a little quiet this week. In this blog world, at home, everywhere.

My oldest daughter will be 7 on Saturday. The daughter who came out kicking and screaming, after three days of labor at 6:27 AM on June 14, 2001. My 23rd birthday.

That means this Saturday, I'm turning 30.

This is a number I'm not handling well. I love my husband, my kids and my life. Never would I trade them for anything else. Its me that I'm not happy with. And its been a hard week of soul searching and sober realizations. I'm not the person I thought I'd be at 30. And it seems like a nearly impossible goal to get to the place I want to be.

So I'm quiet. Maybe after I survive this weekend, I'll perk up again.

4 comments:

  1. I hope you perk up again. 30 is not the end of the world nor do I know many people who were where they imagined themselves to be at 30 when they actually got there. Look at all you have and all you have accomplished vs. the direction you had hoped your life would take back when you were in college. He is still in charge and has only the best for your life. You have a husband and 3 beautiful girls who love and depend on you. You have a family of origin and an extended family who love you unconditionally if you never accomplished another thing.

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  2. First - happy big 30 to you a little early and happy number 7 to Lael. :)

    Second - I understand what you are going through as I went through a little of the same around my 3oth birthday. I am not where I thought I would be in life or the person that I feel I should have become by now either....just remember that He is continually growing and changing us into the person that He wants us to be. It is a lifelong process, but it is worth it.
    Try to remember who you were when we met and just how much he has done and will continue to do in your life.
    You are an amazing woman of God my dear and I wouldn't change the friend that I love for anything.
    Happy 30th - wish I could celebrate with you! :)

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  3. Well, I think you're pretty great! Ditto on what everyone else has said. We love you Jackie! :)

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  4. Well I agree with the other commenters in that I think you're great!

    But perhaps you should visit my friend Maryann's website... it's been lifechanging for me : www.agreewithgod.com

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