Its one of those lines in our marriage vows everyone says with stars and hearts in their eyes, right? I realized that we aren't just agreeing to love and care for our spouse through sickness and health but also our children.
We've been sick. On and off since New Year's, someone one has been sick with something. The stomach bug. A terrible head cold. The stomach bug again. And now our little Lauren is battling some sort of virus that keeps driving her fever up into a not-so-comfortable range. Her doctor is hopeful that it's just a virus that will pass through her system and we'll move on. That's what I'm hoping for as well. Otherwise, it's back to the hospital for more tests. Not so fun with a 2 year old.
This morning, Lauren seems good. She's a little warm but acting like herself (which means she was bossing her sisters around just a moment ago). It's a great improvement from yesterday's high 104.3 fever. We're praying that this is the beginning of the end. It's been a long few weeks.
Through it, I've been reading the first few chapters of this book. Our small group for mothers is going through it over the next few months. The first chapter is about loving motherhood and loving your children. They are two separate things. I love my children tons. Every mom does right? But do I love mothering them? Do I love serving them and showing them my love through my actions? Hmmm ... probably not all the time. It's been a real challenge for me through this season of ill-health to really think about loving not just my children, but loving to mother them.
I'm also learning to embrace the exhaustion and nausea of early pregnancy. God created woman for this purpose, after all. We are to bring forth children. It's not easy. But I choose to pray and speak blessing over my baby tucked in the perfect little home he or she has while God works His miracle.
Learning and growing. In sickness and in health. I'd choose health any day. But even when we walk through a season of sickness, God still reigns. He still listens. And He still gently leads us closer to Him.
He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. Isaiah 40:11