June 23, 2014

What Dads of Daughters Need To Hear

We are just finishing up a week of vacation. My hubby didn't have to go to work but we didn't have any where to go. So we spent lots of time just together. We did some work on our chicken coop (more about that another time) and we set up a campsite in the back yard. Nothing fancy.

At the beginning of the week, I took a weekend trip with our two oldest daughters along with some friends. It was my oldest daughter's 13th birthday and she wanted to shop. Since we live in the middle of nowhere, to really shop you have to travel. So we spent just about 36 hours shopping, talking, giggling, eating, talking and shopping some more, about three hours away from home. It was a 100% girl weekend. My fantastic husband stayed home with our two youngest daughters for the weekend. I don't know all about everything that they did, but I'm pretty sure ice cream was considered a meal at least once.

It's pretty easy to figure out that in our house, my husband is seriously outnumbered. But sometimes I forget that little fact and that it means more than him being able to get ready the fastest. I forget that he could feel left out of our never-ending girl party. I forget that there are things he needs to hear from me, things that he needs to hear as the dad of daughters.

Number One: I don't believe what mainstream media would want me to believe. There is more to dads that just clueless buffoons hanging out around the barbecue. I know that there is more to being a Girl Dad then just sitting on the couch and nodding when it seems appropriate. It's my job to teach our daughters that their daddy is the person God put in authority over their lives and that's a big deal. He is their hero and I need to give him opportunity to demonstrate that. Dads of Daughters need to hear us tell them that we respect them. And they need to see us demonstrating it. 

Number Two: The dad of my daughters is the love of my life and he holds my heart. Both he and my daughters need to hear me tell them that my loyalties lie first with him. No daughters with sweet little cherub faces can divide me from him or him from me. Dads of Daughters need to hear that their wives adore them. Daughters need to hear that their moms love their dads, too. We are showing them how to love their husbands one day. Those little eyes are always watching and we are walking examples of Titus 2, every moment of every day. So, Girl Moms. Love you husbands fiercely and make sure your daughters know it.

Number Three: Girl Moms can probably agree with the following statement ... At some point in our adult lives (or more than one point), we will want to know what our dad thinks. And we will think that what ever our dad says is right. One day, the dads of our girls will be that man that is always right. It may feel like it takes an eternity to get to that point, but he will get there. Dads of Daughters will always hold a special place in their girls' hearts. 

Number Four: Dads of Daughters may need to learn get comfortable with some new lingo ... concealer, pore cleanser, shelf bras, I could go on ... Dads probably don't want to hear about their daughters learning this new stuff, forget about watching them slowly grow into them. Dads of Daughters need to hear that the effort to understand those growing and changing daughters will produce good fruit in their relationship .

Number Five: Dads of Daughters need to hear us affirm that their word is final. And Girl Moms? We need to mean it. Clothes, friends, extracurricular activities, dance moves, make up ... Dad's word is final. It's pretty clear in the Bible - we are to submit to our husbands. Let's start to teach our daughters submission from a young age, making it the normal standard. Not life as a doormat, but respectful submission that honors the Lord. Dads of Daughters need to know that we submit to their leadership.

So Girl Moms, let's remind the men in our lives that they are not outsiders. They are not clueless. They are not just a source of transportation or financial security. They are instead the most important man in the lives of several women that completely adore them. I'm writing to myself here but maybe there are other Girl Moms out there that need a reminder too.

4 comments:

  1. Jackie, I LOVE this! Very well written, such an encouragement to so many mommas!

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    1. Thank you Jen! Some times, God just gives you the words ya know?

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  2. Good Job, Jackie. In my counseling and when I do presentations I try to stress #2 if I am presenting to MOPS or other moms group, but find it isn't very well received. But It is so important. Thank you for verbalizing all of this. Good Stuff!

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    1. Thanks Bonnie! Learning authority structure is so important but SO hard, isn't it?

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