{I'm sure right now someone is thinking 'get a grip, they have to grow up eventually' and I know that. Stay with me here.}
One thing I've realized over the last 13 years of parenting daughters is that there is a marked difference between girls with much older sisters and girls without much older sisters. This plays out on a daily basis in my house and my memories.
When my two older girls, now ages 13 and almost 11, were preschool & young elementary ages things were so different around here. They didn't know the latest slang or the words to every popular song. They didn't watch the 'big kid' shows on Disney. They didn't play Shopping, Sleepover or Makeovers. {Full disclosure: my younger girls have played all three.} They played Little House and dressed up like Laura and Mary. They played Duggars. They played with Playdoh and cooked imaginary foods that were always delicious. They painted and colored and looked at books. They played Library and Store. It was easy to keep them interested in these things because they had no understanding of what the next step was. They were just kids and they acted like kids.
Now I have a teen and a tween, plus a 7 and almost-4 year old. This second round of little girls? They know the next step. They know that they're going to slowly grow and change and get more privileges and responsibilities. It's not as much as a mystery, which in some respects is good. On the other hand, I catch myself wondering if they're missing something. Not that knowing all the words to Shake It Off is going to instantly make them hate Little House, but it an feel like there isn't as much innocence in their days. So I'm trying to be intentional about keeping the little in my girls. Here are some of my ideas:
- Time apart from the older girls. I am not talking about creating division here, don't get me wrong. But when the older girls want to do older things, without little shadows, that's okay. It will usually be spontaneous and that's when I need to put aside my plans for some little girl fun. Dump all the Playdoh on the table and be sure to taste everything they make. Read Pinkalicious at least five times. Bake something and let them eat the dough. Fun, messy times.
- Equal Screen & Radio Time. My older girls are not allowed to always choose the tv show or video when the television is on. They're also not allowed to always choose whatever music they want to listen to. We keep a fairly tight reign on the music choices around here any way, but there are songs that I just don't want to hear the little ones singing. Again, it's usually to do with that 'next step' in life ... boys, makeup, clothes, peer relationships, etc ... and sometimes it's okay for the older girls to listen to Sing The Word one more time. We try to keep things fair in this department, but sometimes the older girls just have to be selfless and let their younger sisters have their choice. And that's okay, too.
- Special time alone with the younger girls. Sometimes it will be a special trip to the store. Some times it will just mean making cookies and telling the older girls that, for this time, they're not allowed to help. (Then it gives the little girls even more fun time, by showing them how to surprise their big sisters with a plate of cookies!) But I've realized it's fine to tell the older girls that I am devoting time to their younger sisters. There is usually a flip side, when I'm spending time with the older girls. They may tell you how unfair, horrible, mean, etc you are but they will survive. Creating intentional time with each daughter, or each group of daughters, creates fun memories and something for them to look forward to. It doesn't have to be fancy or expensive. It just has to be intentional.
What do you think? Have you seen a difference between girls with older sisters and those without? What other ideas do you have for keeping the younger set 'little?'
One thing I've realized over the last 13 years of parenting daughters is that there is a marked difference between girls with much older sisters and girls without much older sisters. This plays out on a daily basis in my house and my memories.
When my two older girls, now ages 13 and almost 11, were preschool & young elementary ages things were so different around here. They didn't know the latest slang or the words to every popular song. They didn't watch the 'big kid' shows on Disney. They didn't play Shopping, Sleepover or Makeovers. {Full disclosure: my younger girls have played all three.} They played Little House and dressed up like Laura and Mary. They played Duggars. They played with Playdoh and cooked imaginary foods that were always delicious. They painted and colored and looked at books. They played Library and Store. It was easy to keep them interested in these things because they had no understanding of what the next step was. They were just kids and they acted like kids.
Now I have a teen and a tween, plus a 7 and almost-4 year old. This second round of little girls? They know the next step. They know that they're going to slowly grow and change and get more privileges and responsibilities. It's not as much as a mystery, which in some respects is good. On the other hand, I catch myself wondering if they're missing something. Not that knowing all the words to Shake It Off is going to instantly make them hate Little House, but it an feel like there isn't as much innocence in their days. So I'm trying to be intentional about keeping the little in my girls. Here are some of my ideas:
- Time apart from the older girls. I am not talking about creating division here, don't get me wrong. But when the older girls want to do older things, without little shadows, that's okay. It will usually be spontaneous and that's when I need to put aside my plans for some little girl fun. Dump all the Playdoh on the table and be sure to taste everything they make. Read Pinkalicious at least five times. Bake something and let them eat the dough. Fun, messy times.
- Equal Screen & Radio Time. My older girls are not allowed to always choose the tv show or video when the television is on. They're also not allowed to always choose whatever music they want to listen to. We keep a fairly tight reign on the music choices around here any way, but there are songs that I just don't want to hear the little ones singing. Again, it's usually to do with that 'next step' in life ... boys, makeup, clothes, peer relationships, etc ... and sometimes it's okay for the older girls to listen to Sing The Word one more time. We try to keep things fair in this department, but sometimes the older girls just have to be selfless and let their younger sisters have their choice. And that's okay, too.
- Special time alone with the younger girls. Sometimes it will be a special trip to the store. Some times it will just mean making cookies and telling the older girls that, for this time, they're not allowed to help. (Then it gives the little girls even more fun time, by showing them how to surprise their big sisters with a plate of cookies!) But I've realized it's fine to tell the older girls that I am devoting time to their younger sisters. There is usually a flip side, when I'm spending time with the older girls. They may tell you how unfair, horrible, mean, etc you are but they will survive. Creating intentional time with each daughter, or each group of daughters, creates fun memories and something for them to look forward to. It doesn't have to be fancy or expensive. It just has to be intentional.
What do you think? Have you seen a difference between girls with older sisters and those without? What other ideas do you have for keeping the younger set 'little?'
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