Going Back to (Home)School

-- By Mid-April, start searching for curriculum. You'll need to review and consider every single possible combination of boxed curricula, lapbooks, unit studies, nature studies, and then only if absolutely necessary - workbooks. You will stay up hours past bedtime reading reviews and discussing possible choices on Facebook groups and homeschool forums. If someone questions why you need a grammar book, an English book, a vocabulary book and a spelling book - block them while mentally questioning whether or not you really do need all those books. By mid-August, you've spent a small fortune on all the right curriculum that your children will need for the school year.

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-- The day before you officially start school, you'll be frantically printing off all forms of chore charts, schedules and reading logs. It doesn't matter that you've already been doing "practice" school for two weeks. This is the real deal and you must be prepared. Your children's education depends on your organizational skills to keep them on track academically. What if you miss something? Are they doing enough math? Maybe you should add another supplemental practice book, don't you think? (Cue Amazon Prime.) You also spend time on Pinterest devising brilliant schemes on how you will keep the young elementary students entertained while you finish school work with the older children. Activity bags, a playlist of educational tv shows and the like get added to your to do list before the big day.

-- The morning of the Big Day: The First Day Of Homeschool. You rise at 5 am so you can make a healthy, organic breakfast for your students. Never mind that you were up until 2am making activity bags - everything will go smoothly because you have a plan. You begin waking children at 7am, as the schedule states. By 7:15 everyone is crying, the dog has to go out, you forgot to feed the chickens, and the healthy breakfast is burnt. You pull the oldest out of bed and tell her that she can do one less page of math today if she will just get everyone up and make them a bowl of Cheerios while you clean up the dog's mess and feed the chickens. Then you can get back on schedule.

-- By 8:30, everyone is gathered around the table for Bible time. There are Cheerios in one of your children's hair but you are choosing battles and moving forward. When you begin to talk about how Jesus died for our sins, Child number 4 starts crying because she loves Jesus! Why did He have to die?! Older children start taking video of child number 4's cute, heartfelt but very loud and long reaction to this shocking news. Bible time ends. Moving on to the next subject, you happily direct everyone's attention to the new schedule. Child number 2 doesn't want to do math first because she isn't awake enough yet and Child number 3 has already finished her phonics while you were calming down the crying little one. The schedule gets shifted and after a failed attempt at finding an educational tv show, the activity bags come out a little early.

-- It's 11:30. Everyone is getting hungry but the activity bags have exploded all over the dining room table. While helping to clean up the mess, you realize that you won't have time to prepare the nutritious lunch you had planned on your schedule if you're ever going to get to read aloud time and then *pause to hear the angels sing* nap and outside time. Skip nutritious lunch. Never skip nap and outside time. Pb&J with corn chip on a blanket in the living room for the kids while you scurry around picking up so nothing will disturb nap and outside time. It's right about then that you realize you've had 4 cups of coffee and 2 bottles of water but haven't had a moment to use the bathroom since you woke up. While you're in the bathroom, three children and a dog line up at the door (the locked door) wanting answers to important questions like How come she got more chips? When can I get a cell phone? Can I redecorate my room? Why can't my friends come over more often? all while the dog jumps in circles, letting us know he has to go out.

-- Finally the hour has come. It's 1pm. **nap and outside time** You shuffle the children to their appropriate locations, remind them to be pleasant and kind to each other, tuck the little one in for a nap with a couple of books just in case she's not tired and finally sit down with your lunch and a devotional. This peace lasts for approximately 3.6 minutes until child number 1 realizes she never finished English and that you never did Science with her. Lunch, nap and outside time ends.

-- Wrap up science and history with the older children by 3pm at exact moment you realize you never defrosted the roast for dinner. There is glitter all over the dining room after the failed activity bag incident and child number 2 has already lost her Spelling book. Tell Child number 1 that she can skip a page of English if she can get all the school books and supplies reorganized before Daddy gets home. Child number 2 gets handed Child number 4 for their afternoon buddy chores (back to the schedule!) while Child number 3 picks up every.single.piece.of.glitter off that table.

-- Finally, the house is put back together. School books are ready for day #2 and the children have completed their chores. You've whipped up a frittata with extra cheese and some leftover sliced ham for dinner in place of the forgotten roast. You also light a candle and wipe the counter, just as your husband walks in the door. He looks around with a smile at the order and calmness but stops when he gets to you. It's at that moment that you realize you never got dressed. You're still wearing yesterday afternoon's leggings and over-sized, stained t-shirt that you fell asleep in making those cursed activity bags. After quickly getting changed, you all sit down at dinner. The children tell Daddy all about what they learned and how you reminded them to be pleasant, how they liked playing with the 4 year old and how happy they are that Jesus died for them.

-- You clean up the kitchen after the children have cleaned up the kitchen because that gunk under the burners cannot wait until morning. Make sure everything is organized and the schedule is ready. Fall into bed and pass out from sheer exhaustion but with a content heart. You'll do it all again tomorrow.

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